Wednesday I cracked.

That wonderful man I live with my husband often referred to here as the
hubster - I should change that to The Hubster - Make it his title for no
other reason than he seems to think he deserves one. And when I say that
wonderful man I being ironic cause the shine has definitely wore off him
since last night.

What happened?
What upset me?
What cast a pall over my otherwise picture perfect existence?
Well let me clear away the spiders webs and dust and sleepers in my eyes
and get thinking.

It all began innocently enough.
He said 'will you build my web page for me'
I said 'no'
(Can I just explain I am not a web builder person although I probably could
do it with time and effort and lots of patience.
However the thought of doing anything along the lines of 'working for The
Hubster' fills me with dread because he has no patience with me.
He will deny this vehemently.)

On with my story - one week later
He said 'will you build my web page for me'
I said 'no'
He then upped the pressure to 'I need help, if you don't help me the earths
crust is going to crack open and the end will come'
And if you think I'm kidding and being over dramatic? You weren't there.
That's exactly how it was.
So over the course of three years this has being going on.
He's been applying the pressure and I have been ignoring him.

Until Wednesday night I cracked. Like the earths core , I gave up the
battle, his magma was just too powerful to contain any longer and out all
manner of damage spewed.
So because I cracked I spent last night at the kitchen table with him as he
explained at a rate of knots how the software works.
An hour has passed and we still hadn't 'done' anything.
Eventually he decides he must redo the whole Master page.
This is no small job because this page is the background for every other
page on the site.
We got very little done.
I am at a loss just how I am going to take over this project which he seems
to have such an intimate knowledge of.
How can I possibly succeed when he communicates his needs so badly?

Anyhow what got me really riled was his comment last night when he was
going to sleep.
He called me too tough and too hard.
Is this because I didn't jump for joy when he asked, coerced, bullied me
until I agreed to do his website.
I feel I am getting lost under the weight of his personality.
I resist.
He resents.
Its a bit of a viscous cycle.
So I asked his falling asleep mind would he prefer me if I was all soft and
fuzzy?
His answer didn't offer me much comfort.
I am still wondering what the F$%k is going on.
And after that rant I am still rankled.