Overheard Man on Phone

Hello Mam. It’s Jim here.
I just said I’d give you a quick buzz to say thanks for the card.
I got it this morning.
Yes you’re right. It’s my birthday today.
Thanks very much.
It was a bit of a surprise getting a mass card.
What’s that? You made a mistake?
You bought it for Mikey Kelly. I never knew he passed away.
Oh he didn’t you bought the card by mistake. I see.
Still. It gave me a bit of a start.
What’s that ? Louise Kelly is home. She has six kids! That’s a small army.
She was always a big girl. I can’t imagine what she is like now after six kids.
Oh Grand and slim you say.
You did what? You asked her for her diet so you could tell me!
How did she take being asked her private business?
Oh you were tactful. That’ll be a first.
No I don’t want to hear how she lost 8 stone in 6 months.
Well she was never as keen on me as you were on her.
She married a doctor. In New York.
Didn’t she do well for herself?
No Mam. I won’t call up. I don’t think she’d have any interest in meeting me. I’ll go and have a few pints for my birthday with some of the other bachelors and maybe some nice fat girl who doesn’t think she’s too good for me will give me a kiss for luck.
Good bye now Mam.
I’ll call again next Sunday.