"He's as gay as two planks" she said.
I was confused.
I mean I can understand the phrase thick as two planks.
A plank of wood is impenetrable, it is thick because lets face it if it
wasn't it wouldn't be much use and its stiff and unyielding.
It is very useful when trying to explain about people who are not as clever
as you (NACAY) to compare them to two (not one) sturdy pieces of timber.
However to use wood to describe someone's gayness
Just plain wrong. And inaccurate. In my experience most people spending
the pink pound are witty, clever, stylish and because they have to be -
Not at all wooden, or oaken, they may be sturdy but they are not stiff.
So I begin to wonder about my friend, does she belong to the NACAY crowd.
And then I started to panic and sweat (at the same time- its possible)
Did I want to be seen hanging around with her?
After all birds of a feather are known by the company they keep.
Or is she just tired? Was she burning the midnight oil at both ends?
Or is it worse?
Is she not the sharpest tool in the basket?