Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Hello May

I'm sorry. Is it just me? or did the Month of May become a non-event in the writing area of my life. There was a total lack of any blogs anyone would want to read. (So I didn't publish them)

Apart from having my precious writing time interrupted by family I just couldn't seem to get the words to flow. I have read all the pieces on how to carve out a time and place for writing. And I have more or less done that. However as Chuck Wendig says over on Terribleminds if you don't take it seriously then no one else will.

I just don't know how to make something that hovers between hobby (everyone elses perspective) and desirable career (my perspective) become important.
Hubster has taken the view that every time I take out my laptop that he bought (big mistake) I am about to do some web browsing or software analysis for him. Or his company which becomes our company when it suits him. Its gotten so bad that I can't even take the laptop out myself now. I feel like a kid sneaking in to the teachers office expecting to get caught.
I hate this.
And the kids who are old enough to have opinions and go to school unchaperoned want their mother to help with "study" for their summer exams. So I silently fume and resent them wanting my time. This is quickly followed by guilt (so quickly in fact that I think they shared the ride here).
And what is making me nauseated is I know I am the person responsible for creating this circle of demands around myself.
How do I break this cycle of demand - resentment - guilt - fear.

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