Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Today is a good day.

Yesterday was not a good day.
I was in a puddle of mud - upset and emotional.
I was confused, angry and lost.
I didn't want to write.
I couldn't write.
It was like having a limb removed.
Hacked off by some manic axe wielding woodsman.
And there was all that mud to drag my weary self through.

Today is a good day.
I feel like writing again.
I feel alive again.
I feel in control again.
What happened in the middle?

Did some handsome stranger ride up on a white stallion and whisk me off?
Did anybody in my small personal community notice and treat me kindly - take some
time out from their busy schedule to spend with me?

Picture this.
I drove to the supermarket to get some food for my empty cupboards.
I sat in the rain looking at the shopping trolleys thinking nothing.
Thinking everything.
While I was sitting there sighing feeling very sorry for myself I noticed a
small yellow book sitting on the dashboard.
The kids had swiped it from some charity donation bin at the local
recycling centre.
(Don't comment on my parenting please)
It was 'The little book of confidence' by Susan Jeffers who also wrote
'Feel the fear and do it anyway'
And each tiny page had words of encouragement and it seemed like she was
speaking to me.
Telling me to pick myself up, dust myself off and 'take back my power'.
Words that I would have been scoffing at 24 hours earlier.
Scoff if you must but I feel better.
Explain that.

So if you are sitting somewhere sighing and feeling sorry for yourself you
know what to do!

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