Friday, October 14, 2011

Chuck Wendig Flash Fiction

The Challenge: use 3 of the following 5 words in a story about a vampire - word limit 1000.






My Big Date That Didn't Happen.

In Twilight (the book) the vampires are good looking, well dressed, clean and for the most part youngish and according to Bella Swan really really attractive.
So when this dirty, scruffy, small, old and pale ‘hobo’ grabbed me from behind and bit my neck I was... unprepared. It was late yesterday afternoon, so the only thing he has in common with Stephanie Meyers vamps is the whole being out and about in the daylight thing.
Oh! and the feeding off human blood to survive bit as well.
I was horrified and in typical weak female virgin style I fainted. I don’t know if it was from the loss of blood or the fright or from his smell (rank) but everything went all black and blurry and then wham I hit the pavement.

And I was having such a good afternoon too. Tt was bright and autumnal, dry and a bit breezy with beautiful golden crunchy leaves everywhere underfoot. I was going to meet Derek and I was so excited I could hardly breathe which probably explains why I didn’t see Mr. Hobo sneaking up behind me or notice that he was following me across the park.

I was heading to my one bed little apartment to change. I had wanted to be all cleaned up and showered for my first date with Derek.

After he had his first good suck (god doesn’t that sound disgusting?) right there on the pathway he dragged me into some bushes which I’d only been admiring a few minutes before because of their lovely colours.
What a fool? Why didn’t I see them as potential camouflage for feeding vampires? The obvious always escapes me.

Anyway he had a good old feed once he got me in the bushes and I got very weak. I mean when you go to donate blood for the blood bank they tell you take it easy and they only take a couple of pints, this fellow had himself a few more than that. Then he stopped all of a sudden like he’d hit a switch. He wiped the blood from around his mouth and asked me if I was thirsty. Just like that. ‘Are you thirsty?’ Could things get any more surreal? I was past caring if I lived or died right then but the thought of some cool clean spring water made me realise just how thirsty I was. So I nodded and managed to mumble ‘water’.

He hoisted me up and darted (yes darted) real fast or maybe it just seemed that way cause I was so bleary eyed from lack of blood. He carried me across the whole park thrown across his shoulder in a fireman’s lift. He dropped me on to a stone bench which cracked my skull pretty painfully. I recognised where he had brought me, it was one of the old buildings at the back of the college. There was an old fountain there and the sound of the water splashing against the old stone was wonderful. It was full of leaves and a dead cockroach. I know this because Mr Hobo cleared the surface of the water on to the flagstone next to my foot. He filled an old plastic bottle and gave it to me. ‘Drink, you’ll feel better’
I tried not to think about the cockroach or I would end up gagging.
‘When will I change’ I asked curious to know when I was going to change into a vampire. ‘What? He started to laugh. ‘You are not going to die today and you’re not going to change into a vampire’ His voice sounded funny, like it was rusty. ‘I just needed to feed real bad and getting in Derek’s way was too good an opportunity to miss’ what did that mean. I looked at him and he must have seen I didn’t follow.
‘Derek is one of us – the walking dead no that’s zombies – anyway he was going to kill you’
I shrank back ‘no I don’t believe you’
He leaned real close then and I could see his skin, it was grey and blemished ‘why don’t you believe me? Because he’s so cute? Because he still looks human?’ I saved your life you should be grateful’
I nodded. I was still alive that was true. The water made me feel less weak but my neck hurt like hell.
‘About that why?’
It was his turn to look surprised. ‘Why did I let you live? I’m not some mindless animal, I can control myself, all vampires can, Derek just doesn’t choose to and when the body count goes up he moves on. Then the place will be crawling with police and sniffer dogs and vampires like me who have been living in this college since it was built suddenly have to move out of town. Its not easy finding somewhere to be for endless time without being noticed by a neighbour or something. Derek and his kind ruin it for the rest of us.’

‘What happens now?’ I couldn’t believe I was sitting on a stone bench in the late afternoon having this conversation.

‘I let you go but you can’t tell anyone what happened. No one will believe you. You told all the girls in your dorm about meeting Derek today so that explains the hickey on your neck. And Derek was warned last night not to kill again so if he knows what’s good for him he’ll leave town today. I had to keep you away from him this afternoon and keep you out of sight so you and I will just stay here and chat tonight’
My eyes must have been like saucers, a whole night on my own? With him? Who just sucked the living daylights out of me. A woman walked in to the couryard and I just knew she was one of them. ‘Well Master how are we getting along’ and she sat next to me on the stone bench.
‘Just fine sister’ he replied.
‘Derek has left. I think when you didn’t show he freaked’ she smiled at me ‘take my cloak it will stop you freezing to death tonight’

‘Oh’ was all I could manage.


  1. Shivers. I usually imagine vampires just taking a quick bite. To imagine him sucking more than pints of blood just gives me the heebie-jeebies! Good job!

  2. Very good story. Original and unusual take on the vampire tale.